Life Cycle Discussion

I’m taking a class called Life Cycle and we have several discussions where we take the material from class and discuss it relating to our lives. Today we had a discussion about marriage and family. We talked about what we are interested in finding in a spouse, when we want to get married/ have kids, whether we would take time off of work when we do have kids and other things like that. We had one male in our group and he had his life pretty structured and planned out. It was interesting because he actually had exact ages too; where as the females in the group gave time periods. For example, he wants to get married at 30, while most of the females in the group mostly said high 20’s or low thirties. It was around the same age area but he was just more specific with his and I was surprised to learn how much he really did think about the future because I feel like most men just kind of “wing” things like that while women plan them out more. I’m wondering why this is exactly? I’m thinking it may be because women are more scared to give up their body and don’t want to plan an exact time? Or maybe women are more realistic and understand more that you can plan things out as structured as that? And I know there was just one guy, so I can’t really make assumptions but I just thought it was interesting.

When I was Growing Up

I chose to write about this poem from class because it reminded me of a close friend. Not only does the author pretty much have the same last name as her but they're also the same race. Nellie Wong wrote about the internalized oppression she experienced and currently still experiences. Wong feels underprivileged because her skin is “dark.” As she was growing up, she put these weird assumptions in her head that made her feel inferior because she wasn’t “white.” Reading the poem makes me feel really bad, and angry that our society puts such pressures on each other. My friend, I feel has internalized oppression. She may not talk about it directly, but I can tell through her reactions to things people do, or when she talks about high school, fashion, boys and having kids. In a group of friends, usually you all playfully make fun of each other and it’s normal, but sometimes she’ll freak out about random things that are a joke and I think they are things that she oppresses and doesn’t talk about. When she talks about high school she says she never fit in and she was one out of a couple Asians. She always wants to be on top of fashion and talks about it quite often and even dyes her hair so it’s not jet black. And then when talking about guys and having kids, she always talks about white guys and biracial kids, like she never even considered it any other way. My group of friends calls her the “white girl” because we feel as if she’s “whiter” than us. We find it funny, but I’m sure deep down she’s hurting.

And When You Leave, Take Your Pictures With You

Jo Carrillo wrote a very powerful poem about race and privilege. “White women” that may have pictures of minority labor workers on the wall may not have them up for the right reasons or not understand the actual things they experience. Instead of helping people for reasons of fixing the problems, they may do it for show or for their personal benefit which are the wrong reasons. I know whenever I volunteer I hope to help and change people’s lives for the better but it definitely gives me a personal benefit. I thought the saying we discussed, “We take what we like but do not acknowledge or except what we don’t like,” was an interesting view. When I thought about it more, although we probably wouldn’t want to admit it, a lot of people do that, whether it is because we actually are or just act oblivious towards it.

The Bridge Poem- Class Dec 1

In The Bridge Poem from today’s class, Donna Kate Rushin described her feelings of being a selfless minority. She’s tired of being the mediator in many aspects of her life. In her poem she talks about how she has to serve to everybody else’s problems instead of focusing on herself and her own needs. She can understand other people’s viewpoints because she can put herself in other people’s shoes so she uses it to help compromise other people’s differences. She’s tired of it and wants to express herself! I really enjoyed the poem because, on a smaller level, I feel the same way with my group of friends and family. I’m always the one who see’s both sides of an issue and tries to solve it to avoid conflict. I just don’t understand why people are always trying to start new problems. Because of this, I understand why she says being privileged is being able to express your true self. When I’m always trying to keep peace and represent sides, I don’t have time to represent myself a lot because I’m too worried about fixing other “drama” instead of my own opinions.

War Quotes

The first quote on the War Quotes page had an interesting aspect to it. It explained the contrusction of a male soldier's gender identity: "Masculinity," and how it relates to his ability in combat and how it may exclude women from combat. But then it also mentions how masculintity depends on the construction of femininity. I'm sure there are many different interpretations of that. To me I took that as a man needs a woman to help guide and nurture him so he can have his emotional side in order to have a "physical" or "aggressive" side. I dated a guy in the Airforce, and as manly and strong as they want to seem to be, they are weak as well and need support from a woman. Therefore I've come to the conclusion that this poem describes one of the main reason's the military suggests men to get married.

Crash

I watched Crash recently, one of my favorite movies! In the movie, a racist/bias cop pulls over a mulato (biracial, I don't know how to spell it?) couple (in a vehicle) for public indecency. The cop tells the woman to get up against the car to search her. As he searches her, he inappropriately gropes her and touches her private areas. I feel like this would never happen to a man, or very rarely anyways. It’s not right that women are being “molested” by authority figures. In a way I think the wrong people want to be cops. A lot of people I know who want to be them, break the law in ways such as underage drinking and smoking pot. They want to be a cop so they can break the law without worrying about getting caught. Being a cop is also another profession that is mainly viewed as a man's job. Occasionally women are cops but i don't think for the same reasons? Sorry no offense if anyone wants to be a cop and I’m sure that’s not how it is for everyone. But as a woman, if I was ever pulled over by myself in an area without people around I would be very hesitant and nervous… not that I wouldn’t be in the first place anyways haha.

Oppression

In the Discussion on November 17^th about Oppression, my group talked about women’s choices and used the analogy of Pepsi verses Coke. As I thought about it more, I thought this was a really interesting view. Not only in the perspective of an analogy of women’s choices, but looking at it in a literal way: I don’t even like coke or pepsi, or even pop in general. So is that why girls take on the role of a tom boy or transsexual because they don’t like any of the choices, whether male or female so they make their own version? Males are oppressed in certain ways but I don’t think it affects them in the ways or degrees it affects women. Males are treated as inherently aggressive and violent. If they don’t follow the certain social roles given to them then they may be seen as a “wimp” or “sissy.” However women are discriminated against in bigger ways such as job opportunities.