The Little Mermaid

In the clip of the Little Mermaid we watched today there were a lot of things Ursula said that was annoying and demeaning towards women in relationships. But one of the most untrue things I thought she said was the Ariel’s requirement to get a kiss of true love within three days of meeting Erik. You can’t fall in love with someone in three days, even if you spend the full 72 hours with them. You can be very attracted to them and obsessed and maybe trust them but that definitely is not enough to get past the surface of love and truly knowing. So the fact that Ursula even said it possible to fall in love with in three days was untrue. That could make kids think falsely of what love really is. And like I said in class some kids associate being in love and having sex so things like this could subconsciously contribute to the decreasing age of kids having sex. But I still love the Little Mermaid.

Magazine Quizzes

The article “Always Stay In Love” by Lily White gave suggestions for love to never end in a relationship. The suggestions all seemed like things that could help or be nice for your partner but cannot ensure that love will last. Every relationship is built differently and needs different kinds of activities and support. For example, a point given was “do not compete with each other.” In some relationships competition is vital and keeps the spark in their relationship. It’s good to win or lose to your partner once in a while to keep you in check. Well that’s my opinion… and that’s my point, that relationships are circumstantial. People just like to be told what to do because they’re not sure, but that’s the thing, there is no right answer.

Boys Do Cry

In the “Boys Do Cry” Article, there are many different points but one that stood out to me is the “Men Should Act Like Boys” part. I think it very well describes the persona given off by media today of how men should act. Instead of instilling responsibility and respect in men, were teaching them to be demeaning and childish. An example mentioned in the article is the saying "bro’s over ho’s." Treating women with disrespect with name-calling is not something we want to teach younger generations. Commercials and media have represented manhood as watching football, drinking, spending money, having sex, and freedom whereas women in the mix are just nagging, and annoying. Nowhere in there does it represent responsibility for men. That is what used to be men's job.. the responsibilty of his family and it you took care of your family you were a man. Now if a dad leaves his kids behind without support he isn't looked down upon nearly as much and it is more of a common occurance. And I definately think it has become more popular because of medias influences.

Big Brothers/Big Sisters

So I volunteer for Big Brothers/ Big Sisters of Huntingdon and I've been mainly just assisting to the main supervisor. I've learned the way for matching up Big Brothers/Big Sisters and recently learned something new about the pair up process. Big brothers and sisters are matched up with a little brother or sister, but there is a rule that big brothers can only be matched up with a little brother, not a little sister. Big sisters can be matched up with a little bother or a little sister. Isn't that crazy? I do understand some of the reasoning behind it but i'm just surprised such a well known organization can be so obviously sexist. And I know it's for the safety of the children so young girls don't get pressured by older boys but an older girl could just as well pressure a little brother. You can't just assume in either circumstance what could happen.

Breast Cancer

My grandma had breast cancer. It was so bad that she had to get a mastectomy for both boobs. Her boobs were really big and she thought she looked awkward without them so she considered getting breast implants (she was only 50 when it happened). She was going to through with it until she decided she didn’t want to be artificial. As much as she wanted to look “normal” and have boobs she realized that it really didn’t matter what other people thought of her. She had breast cancer and had to get her boobs removed... its life, get over it. She also was worried about her husband’s sexual attraction to her but he totally supported whatever decision she wanted to make. It was a really hard decision for her to make and at first she looked very different. However, then i got used to it and she looks totally normal to me now, and she looks beautiful.

Skinny

I agree with Kara on parenting. Each step can make a difference. And like she said, I also think media has such a great influence on our society that even with the best parenting, people still want to have the perfect body. I just find it interesting how trends change. I don’t know the exact facts, but just that people used to want to be physically bigger because it meant they had more money to buy food. Why can’t it still be like this?? Haha. Trends could change again. Maybe we’ll have a depression and people will become weak and skinny because they won’t have the money to buy food… and we won’t find it attractive again. It is doubtful but possible. It’s just interesting… why do we find skinny attractive? Does having more money and easy access to food have anything to do with it?

Life Cycle Discussion

I’m taking a class called Life Cycle and we have several discussions where we take the material from class and discuss it relating to our lives. Today we had a discussion about marriage and family. We talked about what we are interested in finding in a spouse, when we want to get married/ have kids, whether we would take time off of work when we do have kids and other things like that. We had one male in our group and he had his life pretty structured and planned out. It was interesting because he actually had exact ages too; where as the females in the group gave time periods. For example, he wants to get married at 30, while most of the females in the group mostly said high 20’s or low thirties. It was around the same age area but he was just more specific with his and I was surprised to learn how much he really did think about the future because I feel like most men just kind of “wing” things like that while women plan them out more. I’m wondering why this is exactly? I’m thinking it may be because women are more scared to give up their body and don’t want to plan an exact time? Or maybe women are more realistic and understand more that you can plan things out as structured as that? And I know there was just one guy, so I can’t really make assumptions but I just thought it was interesting.

When I was Growing Up

I chose to write about this poem from class because it reminded me of a close friend. Not only does the author pretty much have the same last name as her but they're also the same race. Nellie Wong wrote about the internalized oppression she experienced and currently still experiences. Wong feels underprivileged because her skin is “dark.” As she was growing up, she put these weird assumptions in her head that made her feel inferior because she wasn’t “white.” Reading the poem makes me feel really bad, and angry that our society puts such pressures on each other. My friend, I feel has internalized oppression. She may not talk about it directly, but I can tell through her reactions to things people do, or when she talks about high school, fashion, boys and having kids. In a group of friends, usually you all playfully make fun of each other and it’s normal, but sometimes she’ll freak out about random things that are a joke and I think they are things that she oppresses and doesn’t talk about. When she talks about high school she says she never fit in and she was one out of a couple Asians. She always wants to be on top of fashion and talks about it quite often and even dyes her hair so it’s not jet black. And then when talking about guys and having kids, she always talks about white guys and biracial kids, like she never even considered it any other way. My group of friends calls her the “white girl” because we feel as if she’s “whiter” than us. We find it funny, but I’m sure deep down she’s hurting.

And When You Leave, Take Your Pictures With You

Jo Carrillo wrote a very powerful poem about race and privilege. “White women” that may have pictures of minority labor workers on the wall may not have them up for the right reasons or not understand the actual things they experience. Instead of helping people for reasons of fixing the problems, they may do it for show or for their personal benefit which are the wrong reasons. I know whenever I volunteer I hope to help and change people’s lives for the better but it definitely gives me a personal benefit. I thought the saying we discussed, “We take what we like but do not acknowledge or except what we don’t like,” was an interesting view. When I thought about it more, although we probably wouldn’t want to admit it, a lot of people do that, whether it is because we actually are or just act oblivious towards it.

The Bridge Poem- Class Dec 1

In The Bridge Poem from today’s class, Donna Kate Rushin described her feelings of being a selfless minority. She’s tired of being the mediator in many aspects of her life. In her poem she talks about how she has to serve to everybody else’s problems instead of focusing on herself and her own needs. She can understand other people’s viewpoints because she can put herself in other people’s shoes so she uses it to help compromise other people’s differences. She’s tired of it and wants to express herself! I really enjoyed the poem because, on a smaller level, I feel the same way with my group of friends and family. I’m always the one who see’s both sides of an issue and tries to solve it to avoid conflict. I just don’t understand why people are always trying to start new problems. Because of this, I understand why she says being privileged is being able to express your true self. When I’m always trying to keep peace and represent sides, I don’t have time to represent myself a lot because I’m too worried about fixing other “drama” instead of my own opinions.

War Quotes

The first quote on the War Quotes page had an interesting aspect to it. It explained the contrusction of a male soldier's gender identity: "Masculinity," and how it relates to his ability in combat and how it may exclude women from combat. But then it also mentions how masculintity depends on the construction of femininity. I'm sure there are many different interpretations of that. To me I took that as a man needs a woman to help guide and nurture him so he can have his emotional side in order to have a "physical" or "aggressive" side. I dated a guy in the Airforce, and as manly and strong as they want to seem to be, they are weak as well and need support from a woman. Therefore I've come to the conclusion that this poem describes one of the main reason's the military suggests men to get married.

Crash

I watched Crash recently, one of my favorite movies! In the movie, a racist/bias cop pulls over a mulato (biracial, I don't know how to spell it?) couple (in a vehicle) for public indecency. The cop tells the woman to get up against the car to search her. As he searches her, he inappropriately gropes her and touches her private areas. I feel like this would never happen to a man, or very rarely anyways. It’s not right that women are being “molested” by authority figures. In a way I think the wrong people want to be cops. A lot of people I know who want to be them, break the law in ways such as underage drinking and smoking pot. They want to be a cop so they can break the law without worrying about getting caught. Being a cop is also another profession that is mainly viewed as a man's job. Occasionally women are cops but i don't think for the same reasons? Sorry no offense if anyone wants to be a cop and I’m sure that’s not how it is for everyone. But as a woman, if I was ever pulled over by myself in an area without people around I would be very hesitant and nervous… not that I wouldn’t be in the first place anyways haha.

Oppression

In the Discussion on November 17^th about Oppression, my group talked about women’s choices and used the analogy of Pepsi verses Coke. As I thought about it more, I thought this was a really interesting view. Not only in the perspective of an analogy of women’s choices, but looking at it in a literal way: I don’t even like coke or pepsi, or even pop in general. So is that why girls take on the role of a tom boy or transsexual because they don’t like any of the choices, whether male or female so they make their own version? Males are oppressed in certain ways but I don’t think it affects them in the ways or degrees it affects women. Males are treated as inherently aggressive and violent. If they don’t follow the certain social roles given to them then they may be seen as a “wimp” or “sissy.” However women are discriminated against in bigger ways such as job opportunities.

Security

This is in response to the paper on security. The first question is “What does it mean to be secure?” I looked It up on dictionary.com to find definitions of secure. There was a lot and they all have words that might be used to describe it but security I think is a little different for everyone. Since we can’t experience how other people think, we actually can’t really understand what security is for each person. There are so many different levels of security. One would think that a model or famous person should be totally secure in their own bodies; they’re famous for one, and usually have some talent that they are great at to have gotten where they are. But then there are so many models who have eating problems, and so many famous people who abuse drugs. Why? Because they are insecure. For some reason the society influences people to think they are never good enough. Humans are so competitive, even if not up-front about it and are comparing themselves all the time. I believe that there is never someone who is totally secure. They may be at moments, but there is always something lingering and waiting for your confidence to slip for one second to change it all around.

Life Without Zoey

In Intro to Sociology, I watched a movie called, “Life Without Zoey.” It’s about a girl who mainly took care of herself because her parents were always traveling with their jobs. I wanted to write about it because I thought the relationship between her parents and her was interesting. When they would come home, she would disrespect her mother, and tell her all her flaws and treat her as if she was a friend. But when her dad came home she would be right by his side answering to his every word. As her mother walked in she started perfecting her and when she saw her father she gave him a big hug and asked him if he wanted a drink. Would this be called a “patriarchal” household? To me, it was just crazy how she could so obviously show the difference in preference for her parents. I could never do that even if in my head a disrespected one more than the other. And it makes me wonder what cause this? I didn’t notice disrespect from the father towards the mother so where did she learn this behavior? From the media maybe?

Title IX

Title IX is a federal law that was made to “prohibit sex discrimination in any educational program or activity at any educational institution that is a recipient of federal funds.” I think this law was made with great intentions but in the end sometimes defeats the purpose of what it was intended to do like what was said in the presentation specifically with sports. I want to create equality among female and male athletes but I don’t want to decrease the amount of men’s programs because there isn’t as much money in the women’s programs. We should create more women’s programs and maybe try to find places in the men’s system where maybe we could cut a few dollars here and there without causing a problem. I know specifically, I would love to have a lacrosse club. Women’s lacrosse doesn’t need that many things so it wouldn’t increase the money as drastically as maybe another sport would. But I definitely don’t think we should take athletic opportunities from men because in a way that is just as bad as inequality among the sports.

Women in War

The presentation done on Women in war was interesting. The fact that they said that women are the main victims was a view that I hadn't really thought through much before. I think most people, included me, mainly think of soldiers which makes them think of men as victims of war. The reason we may not think of women is because the lack of wars we've actually had on our home teritory in the USA. (Or the lack of wars that I've experienced at all!) But also, if we did have a war here, Ibelieve our government would work alot harder to prevent women from being raped and killed. But the clip we watched actually showed us what really happens in other countries during war. It was really scarey. I Couldn't imagine being in a country where stuff like that happens and it's that chaotic. It was makes me apprecicate life in America and the government... that so many people complain about. We learned that many men leave their wives after they are raped. It's very sad and the opposite of what they need. They need support and comfort after something like that, not abandonment. Although I do in some ways understand why men do that. They would feel inferior that they couldn't protect their wives and family and maybe not good enough to be around them. Also seeing them and being around them could remind them of their lack of being a "man" by not protectong their family and make them feel depressed all the time and not good enough to be in their prescence. It could also ruin the sexual relationship. He might not want to have sex again let alone her not wanting to have sex again. I'm sure they would both be haunted by the gruesome images while they were haveing sex as well.

The Good Wife's Guide

I think it was October 15^th that we looked at “The Good Wife’s Guide.” It really frustrated me. What wife wants to be told what to do like that?? I mean I guess it makes it easy, you don’t have to think for yourself at all. The attitude the author gave out was as if women were put on earth to bow down to men. Here are just some random quotes from it and some of my thoughts:

“Remember, his topics of conversation are more important that yours”…fuck you. That’s ridiculous. No, I don’t need you to tell me how to clean, nor to be happy when my husband get’s home. I’ll be happy if and when I want.

“Make sure you prepare yourself.”- I’m not a sex slave

“Never complain about anything he does.”- Ridiculous. He’s perfect obviously.

“Know your place.”- Which Is the most demeaning thing I’ve ever heard.

I can’t believe people can write stuff like that and believe it… and not feel morally wrong. I watched Mona Lisa’s Smile this last weekend and it reminded me of this. The girls at Wellsely College all just got an education to have an education. None of them wanted to do anything with their degree because they wanted to be housewives. It was very frustrating for “Mona Lisa” because she was a successful unmarried woman and didn’t like the way the husbands thought of their wives as cooks and maids. I’m glad the perspective of women in homes has changed a lot since then.

My Brother, Robby

This blog was inspired by one of my younger brothers. The baby of my family, Robby, is “girlier” than my brother, dad, stepdad, grandpa, and most of the other men in the family. I know he notices it and sometimes we tease him about it. He looks forward for when I come home so we can put facemasks (cosmetic green clay masks) on, rub each other’s backs, and watch gossip girl together. Although I love having a buddy to do all this with, our society finds it odd for guys to do stuff like that. And I find it odd too. And it makes me wonder… did I make him girly because I take part in these things with him? My cousins and I used to dress him up in girl clothes when he was little… did that influence it? Will he be gay or does he just like to do things society believes is meant for girls to do? This weekend I went home because I wasn’t feeling well. I asked him to give me a back massage to make me feel better and while he was he said “Did you notice, I cut my finger nails.” I felt happy for him but yet kind of sad. I had made fun of him for how long he kept his nails. I know he specifically mentioned it to me because I had made fun of him for it before. He had acted like he didn’t care because he said he liked his nails longer because he could use them as tools and I didn’t think it bothered him that much because he shrugged it off. But that made me realize he did. And now I just feel bad. I wish I could help him to feel like he fit in more but not sure what I can do? Anybody that reads these have any suggestions haha?

Pray the Devil Back to Hell

I went to the showing of Pray the Devil Back to Hell. It really hit home with how much I take things for granted. Not only me, but most of United States as a whole. People may complain about how our country is governed but if they watch that documentary, I'm pretty sure their feelings may change a little, if not entirely. Having that sort of random and uncontrollable conflict would be a very scary and dangerous environment to live in. It makes me very thankful for the government we have, and the people who put themselves in dangerous and life threatening positions, to protect us from people within our country and the countries surrounding us as well (ex. policemen, soldiers).

Those women were very strong-willed to have enough guts to stand up to all those men, who ruthlessly raped and murdered people. Imagine if things like that happened here.. Women and kids would be so vulnerable (and even the "strong," "tough" men can't finght back against weapons). Thank goodness we have the laws and enforcement we do.

I think this situation is very common during conflict. I think women take more time to think about the consequences of actions, especially if loved ones are involved. Not all women, but many, including me prefer peace while men may want power. What would be happening in Liberia right now without those women being persistent and determined for peace? In the end when a women president was elected, it was exciting because they deserved it for all the work they put into to making the country safer.

Pop Culture Gone Wild

I read "Pop Culture Gone Wild" and I really like the style of writing. The author was very convincing.. it was a serious article, yet she wrote it almost as if she was having a conversation and it was laid back. The contradictions were all interesting, some of which we've talked about it class and some that we haven't and I can definitely relate them to previous experiences I've had.

A few of the Contradictions I've seen: "Be a Virgin... but be Sexy," "Be a lesbian.. Who likes men," "Be available... but Unattainable."Those are the most obvious I've seen in today's society.

"Be a Virgin... but be Sexy.” So you’re supposed to know how to be sexy, and how to tease, and how to have sex, but you better not! Guys are allowed to constantly beg and plead and try to manipulate you to have sex with them by lying and then if you do your “used and old news.” I saw that happen to so many girls in middle school. And then they were lost, because what did they do from there…?... have sex more to feel that empty lot of attention that they were getting before, when they were special because they were still a virgin.

"Be a lesbian… Who likes Men.” I’ve seen this present in porn and party situations. Well I haven’t honestly watched girl on girl porn but I know that there is a lot of porn that adds extra girls into situations. And they’re supposed to “mess around” but yet be with the guy too. So they’re supposed to represent lesbians but not actually be true lesbians. Or at parties guys will say they’ll make out with their guys friends if they girls will make out with their girl friends… which is totally just persuasion because the guys never follow through with it.

"Be available... but Unattainable." This one is different in that is isn’t only for girls. The game of “play hard to get” is pretty common among all age groups but is confusing. You never know exactly what’s going on when you’re playing it and if you’re even playing yourself? I think this is a combination of not wanting to be too vulnerable and the society representations of being “to easy of a catch.” But it’s confusing!! Are we supposed to be available or not?

Those are just some thoughts I have on them…

My Essay

My Essay was on the reading "Man" by Alex Kuczynski . The article was very interesting. It was about the change in female gender since feminism. Females tend to be more forward with romantic and sexual things than they used to be. A while ago, women weren't even supposed to call people on the phone. Present day; there's pretty much nothing holding us back from anything socially. Because women have gotten more equality in circumstances such as education and athletics they feel more empowered to have equality in other parts of their life. This is being applied to younger generations as well and causing more forwardness and promiscuity. That's Kuczynski's belief but I don't see a direct connection. I definately see a connection in feminism encouraging women to be more dominant sexually but I don't think that is directly why. Generations ago, women wouldn't do that because it was part of their "gender role" but feminism caused their gender role to change which in turn caused behavior change. He also mentions the media, which I think definately is directly causing the forwardness in women.

Gendered Objects

We all brought in our gendered objects on Thursday and I thought that was fun and interesting. The assignment was to bring something in that reminded us of either the female or male gender. Alot of us brought in things that we thought were more gender oriented than they actually are. Instead of being just for one gender, for example a bra, they could be used by both genders, and could be differentiated by color or smell. For example, some of us brought in chapstick or nailpolish for the female gender. Some males do use chapstick and nailpolish but in more neutral/natural colors, flavors and smells. Another thing I found interesteing was a conversation I had between me and a couple people in my area. Andy said that he had forgot to bring something in on Thursday because he had brought it originally on Tuesday. I looked at him and saw that he had a purse, and said, " yes you do, you have a purse." So whereas I saw that as a female gendered item he saw it as a unisex item. Everyone has their own perspective on what's female and male things. And also men used to wear purses so maybe it'll come back in! Gender roles in society are obviously constantly changing.

Skits in Thurs Class

Class on Thursday was fun. Six of us were assigned to do three skits, but each person had to be the opposite sex. All three skits definitely showed the "usual" and biased thoughts that people have when the situations are brought up. But afterwards I started to think more of the people that don't act like that. I was basing my football performance off of my brother, ex-boyfriends, friends/acquaintances, and movies, but I know many other people who wouldn't act like a "dumb jock." (And I'm not saying that people who act like that are dumb jocks, because my brother definitely isn't!) But when I thought of that I started to feel a little bad that I categorized all guys who watch football to be like that and feel like a couple skits are needed to really show the different situations. I didn't see the beginning of the skit with the girls shopping but I wish I had. It's funny but there are also a lot of girls who aren't like that. For instance I highly disliked shopping my whole life until recently. I would get frustrated, my eyes would sting from the lighting, and I wouldn’t like anything I had found. I was one of those people that just wanted my mom to shop for me. But now that I’m older and more individual I prefer to go shopping with friends and sometimes say what the boys were saying. But I definitely know a lot of girls who do act like that when they shop.